What It Really Takes To Create Meaningful Connection Abroad: 5 Insights From Us, At Milan Women Network

milanwomennetwork
Oct 18
10 min read

What began in 2023 as Katia’s simple idea - a space for women in Milan to connect - has grown into a dynamic community built on belonging. Two years later, we (the MWN team) look back and share our insights on what it means to connect beyond small talk, and make a real community in a foreign city. These small mindset shifts have shaped not only our personal journeys, but also Milan Women Network as we know it today. From a humble brunch to this month’s 2-year anniversary celebration, we hope you enjoy these reflections from the heart.

Written by: Ché Maria Milani

The other evening, while sitting at a cosy cafe sipping a refreshing glass of bubbly, we were trying to remember the first time we’d met each other.

Isn’t it funny how some moments are so clear in your mind - when you met someone, or the first activity you did with them, or the first thing they said to you (and vice versa!).

It’s incredible to think that those moments of meeting each other happened almost 2 years ago.

And when I say ‘we’, I’m referring to the MWN team - Katia, Marta, Ariadna and myself.

What started as a Sunday brunch in October 2023, blossomed into the Milan Women Network as we know it today.

And while Katia did - and continues to do - the lion’s share, we have been there to support her in our own unique ways, sharing our knowledge and expertise.

This is essentially what MWN is about, isn’t it?

It’s very essence encapsulated in that act of co-creation.

Katia was moved by the idea of forming something that didn’t exist in Milan before - at least, not as we know it now - and this ‘something’ brings us all together every week. To socialise, to connect, to support and encourage.

In turn, we help her bring the visual and written aspects of the network to life to reach more ladies just like you.

And every woman who attends an event, contributes to the amazing vibe we experience every time we come together.

Each of them offers their time and energy in helping those who ask for help, inspiring those who seek inspiration, and forming friendships and collaborations that take them in expected (and delightful) directions.

One cannot exist without the other - it takes all of us in our different ways to make the community what it is.

So, to celebrate this as well as MWN’s 2nd-year anniversary (officially on September 26th!), we came together that evening in a cosy cafe to share ideas and thoughts on what it means to connect & network with intention and meaning.

What does that ask of us?

And how do we feel about it?

What have we learnt from 2 years of organising events, meeting new people, and showing up consistently?

And how have each of us needed to acknowledge our different personalities and personal life experiences, in order to make the most out of this dynamic community?

Maybe you’ll find yourself in the next few paragraphs - or maybe you’ll see that as daunting as it might be to pitch up to an event for the first time and not know a soul, there’s a very high probability you won’t regret it.

But to take that first step, and to turn the experience of making friends in a hostile city into something enjoyable and rewarding, we’ve put together 5 personal insights we’d remind ourselves of if we could go back in time to October 2023.

Katia Kokoreva , founder of MWN and creator of KōReframe, photographed by Chè Milani September 2025, Milan

The magic happens beyond your comfort zone

This is probably the most obvious advice we’d give to ourselves, and anyone else. It’s a clichè, but its truth can’t go unacknowledged.

You and your comfort zone need to part ways even just for a couple of hours.

But what does that mean? And how can we make it something enjoyable?

Pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone doesn’t mean suddenly making yourself the centre of attention in a room full of people - when you’d rather be snuggled on the couch at home.

It means saying to yourself, ‘You deserve a chance to make Milan more like home’.Many of us have already pushed ourselves faaaaar out of our comfort zones by moving to a foreign city and country.

I know that sometimes you feel like you’ve done enough ‘stepping out’. But if we don’t give ourselves a chance to meet new people, or like-minded people, our lives will shrink to fit only our apartments, or only our immediate family, or only our work.

And Milan has so much to offer us.

Personally, I could think of nothing worse than walking into a room of strangers and having to meet them. But that’s exactly how it was the first time I attended an MWN event (and I survived!).

It was a Paint & Sip event on a dark, wintery evening. My first thought was, ‘What on earth are you doing, Ché?!’

But that’s what going beyond your comfort zone means - literally opening that door, and then realising there was nothing to worry about. It's an instant, a brief second.

But one that flips the switch in your head.I’ll admit, I still don’t enjoy arriving at an event and not knowing anyone, but now I know what I need to do.

Be bold, introduce myself, and then the worst is over!

It’s all smooth sailing from there.

And that’s why I say that going beyond your comfort zone is something much simpler than what we imagine. All it takes are those few moments to get over the hurdle.

Katia, on the other hand, is not as introverted as Marta and I! She’s quite at home amongst a group of people, but her definition of ‘stepping out’ was taking that mic in hand and speaking to us all at an event.

But again, what’s the worst part?

Just those first 2 seconds. And then the rest flows.

And every time we take these micro steps, we’re building our confidence, we’re proving to ourselves that it’s safe for us - and the reward is much greater.

In the end, a few moments of discomfort equals good friends, professional collaborations, and a sense of belonging.

Stay curious - you might be surprised!

Most of us are already well-travelled, and some of us have already lived in multiple countries. We’re already quite open-minded and curious!

But there will also be a chance to open your mind just a bit more.

Living in a cosmopolitan city like Milan will no doubt push you to do that. And I feel that coupled with world events over the past couple of years, this has been amplified.

We come from different backgrounds and life experiences, and you won’t always meet people who think about certain things in the same way as you.

And maybe when you meet someone for the first time, you’ll automatically try to categorise them (because our brains like to do that) - but a word of warning - don’t be surprised when you discover you were wrong!

This is something I love, actually - being pleasantly surprised by someone who I expected to be a certain way, but was the opposite.

Maybe you think she’s got her sh*t together, and has got all her boxes ticked…only to discover that she faces doubt and imposter syndrome almost every day. (Just like you).

Or maybe you assume that she can’t relate to what you say because she comes from the other side of the world…only to discover that she’s been to your home country and knows exactly what you’re talking about.

Or maybe she appears cold and aloof…only to discover she’s just a bit shy, and you making the first move helped her relax. There are countless examples.

Can you think of any where someone has surprised you in some way when you get to know them?

No matter how open-minded we assume ourselves to be, there’s always opportunity to be more so.

Katia Kokoreva , founder of MWN and creator of KōReframe, photographed by Chè Milani September 2025, Milan

Being among women doesn’t mean competing

This notion of competition among women is something both Katia and I can relate to.

For her, the world of modelling was by nature very competitive. No matter who or where you were, first impressions counted and you would always be analysed, judged, and seen as ‘the competition’.

For me, the world of dance was pretty much the same. Standards were incredibly high, and the smallest thing could jeopardise an opportunity.

And while models and dancers were (and are) fighting for the coveted contracts and opportunities, the thought of cheering each other on was (and is) quite simply ludicrous.

It simply didn’t exist.

For Marta, on the other hand, her experience of competition had a different twist.

The competitive spirit is part of her personality, and it took her places in sports, at university, and in building a business. It served her well!

But through MWN, she started to realise that her definition of competition didn’t need to be so ‘black and white’. It doesn’t always need to be ‘one woman against another’. Instead it can be women coming together to ‘compete’ against an external obstacle.

And when she saw this idea of ‘sisterhood’ being thrown around on the internet, it didn’t resonate with her. It felt forced and fake. Superficial.

But with this community, she saw elements of sisterhood in action. In her own words, “there’s no hidden agenda or rivalry - it’s not about being “better than”, it’s about showing up”.

And isn’t that just so refreshing?

I admit, I was hesitant to join an all-female community. The last thing I needed was the same level of competition, disdain, and snubbery I’d experienced my entire dance life.

But boy, was I pleasantly surprised!

And maybe even Katia was surprised too when MWN started to take shape!

Because even when there’s a vision, there’s no guarantee it will come to life in the way you imagined…but MWN became exactly what she wanted it to be.

A place of encouragement, enthusiasm and support, where the perception of how women treat each other is changing for the better.

So, if I could give myself one assurance from the list, it would be this one - surrounding yourself with women doesn’t always equate to your previous experience!

Let people see - and support - what you’re building.

Ooooh, this is a good one for us introverts.

I don’t know where it comes from, but this attitude of being curious and excited for others, and yet downplaying your own aspirations, projects, or achievements is a tricky one.

We naturally fall into this rhythm, because it’s ‘easy’ for us.

But then the question is…who will cheer us on?

Over the past 2 years, I’ve grappled with this concept. And the more I see other women within the community declaring their intentions or their successes, it encourages me to do the same.

It gives me permission (even though I rationally know I don’t need it from anyone…but you know what I mean).

Katia, Marta, Ariadna and I feel quite strongly about this now - don’t be shy to declare who or what you are, what you do, or what you dream of.

We want to know the cool things you do, or the big life change you want to make.

One thing that Ariadna loves about MWN is the fact that it’s a friendly & supportive space to come forward and showcase skills, talents, and share knowledge with the rest of us.

Have you noticed how more and more of you are hosting your own workshops with us? We hope one of the reasons is because it’s true what Ariadna says! That it’s a safe space where you’ll get our support and enthusiasm.

Over these past 2 years, many of us have gone through a process of refining our identities as dictated by our passions and work, and who we want to connect with in a meaningful way.

And one part of making that a reality is expressing it.

For some it comes naturally, and for some of us building that confidence takes time.

But now - with MWN - is the perfect place to do it.

So, why wait?

Choose events that work for you.

And I don’t mean in terms of day and time.

I mean, choose the kind of gathering that suits your personality, your energy, and intentions.

Because even though we need to step out of our comfort zone, we always need to acknowledge what feeds us.

If an event of 50 people isn’t your cup of tea, then go to a smaller, more intimate event.

If sitting at a brunch table doesn’t do it for you, then choose something that stimulates you in a different way.If your intention is to network, then choose a co-working session or a mastermind.If you want to explore a new skill, then choose a workshop.

It’s also valuable to consider what you can offer to others too through your energy and presence.

All of this helps you choose an event that will be truly valuable and meaningful for you.

Essentially, there is no right or wrong way to ‘connect with people’ - because there are many ways to do it!

When we can overlap what we’re interested in with a crowd size that we can handle, and with the curiosity to experience something new, we can find that ‘event sweet spot’.

Finding this makes networking, socialising, and connecting with strangers so different to what’s offered by other expats communities.

And again we return to the ideas of having an open mind, and not letting past experiences cloud your expectations.

Take the time to find the events that give you that spark of excitement (and then go beyond your comfort zone and attend!).

When you do all this, you’re bound to find the energy and experience you're looking for. You don’t have to settle for an average pizza & pub night just to meet new people.

We’re all independent women who know what it’s like to ‘do it alone’ (because it was once a badge of honour, wasn't it?) - but now we know we don’t have to.

And in fact, it’s infinitely better when we don’t.

We’d love to connect with you on Instagram! Meet Katia, Marta, Ariadna and Ché - and we hope to see you at our 2-year anniversary celebration, at the exact place where it all began…