Cultural divide getting you down? Being a parent in a foreign country is no walk in the park. The bureaucracy, the language, the cultural differences - all of these can be confusing at times.
Fellow MWN member Sara sheds light on navigating all this as smoothly as possible. Here are her top 5 essential points to consider - real insider knowledge from a local who loves helping expat families with kids overcome the typical obstacles faced after moving to Milan.
Written by: Sara Righetti
(of Simply Our Child)
Do you plan to relocate to Italy with your family?
Have you recently moved to Italy with your kids?
Have you been living in Italy for a while, but you’re still unsure about some aspects of Italian culture?
This article’s for you, my top 5 tips to enjoy life in Italy as an international family.Â
But before I start, I’m Sara Righetti and I have a family consulting practice with social impact. Over the years I’ve helped many international families support their children with their relocation to Italy, as well as scout the best school in town, and help develop the languages they need to make living here easier.
Talking with them, these are the most frequently asked questions and their replies.
How can I make more local friends?Â
Making local friends is easier than you think. Nowadays, a lot of families want to raise English-speaking children, and are happy to connect with international families to motivate their children to study English. And connecting with open-minded people is a bonus.
A good time to make new friends is at the school drop-off, or at a classmate's birthday party.
Otherwise you can look for Facebook groups like ‘Mother of Milan’ or ‘Simply Our Child’, that also organise in-person and online activities for children in English.
Usually families socialise at the school drop-off, at the park after school, or over the weekend - but it doesn’t have to be childrens-only focus.
We are human beings, so use your passions and your interests to socialise in your new city. An why not sometimes leave the kids with your husband and try the events of Milan Woman Network, they are irresistible - and another way to meet other parents.
Is it important to learn Italian before relocating?
Getting a conversational level of italian it's useful here, to avoid getting caught in unpleasant situations where you can’t get what you need with English.
It’s not like northern Europe where everyone speaks it! You can start before relocating with basic apps like Duoilinguo, or with AI like Mondly or Loora. Another option could also be to have conversation classes with an Italian teacher - you can find some on Preply or LiveEp.
Once you get more confident and you break the ice with speaking, you can buy a book and get private sessions with an Italian native speaker. The municipal town hall offers cheap classes in the morning, and there are also Italian private schools like Spazio Lingua or Scuola Leonardo.
What options of schools do I have in Italy?
If you'd like your children to attend a local school, you have to enrol in February, otherwise the private ones are the only options available.
The enrollment for Italian public schools might be complicated (at least the first time), but contact the school and they can give you more info on how to fill in the online document.
The Italian local schools are free, you pay only for the canteen, they have on average between 1-5 hours per week of English.
On the other hand, if focusing on the level of English is a priority, there are 3 main types of schools:
- Italian with power English (8-13 hours per week)
- bilingual (20 hours per week of each language)Â
- international schools (more than 30 hours per week).
You cannot find all these kinds of schools in every neighborhood, so do your research in advance and think what's best for your family, because every family has different needs.
If you need a list of all the private schools in Milan, follow me and I’ll email you the free list.
What about the cultural differences?
You might notice that at the park children yell and are very energetic and even agitated, and the parents often don't say anything.
Don't get offended, they don't want to be rude with you, it's a quite big cultural difference.
Some other big cultural differences include Italians not drinking a cappuccino after 12pm, but the one before is way more impacting on a family's daily life than this!
I often mention this point, because I’m Italian and I always welcome foreign families at the park or wherever I meet them - but I have to admit that despite this, I underestimated the impact that this Italian behaviour has on them.
For years I didn’t pay attention to this, because for me it was normal even if I had the best intentions with foreign children.
If your child asks why they behave like that, you can explain to him/her the cultural differences using age appropriate words.Â
If you get caught in an unpleasant situation at the park, you can talk to the children or the parents of the children. There is not a definitive or standard way to handle those situations and you cannot avoid the park every afternoon and every weekend.
Just being aware of the difference I’m sure will help you to find your best solution to face the situation and not get offended.
Where, in general, can I find useful and reliable answers to questions?
Have a look in Facebook groups for expats, or for mums in your neighbourhood. You can find a lot of useful activities to do to connect with locals, but also to know how to solve bureaucratic issues.
For example on the Simply Our Child Instagram page, and on that of Milan Woman Network, you can type whatever question you have and someone will answer!
There are also specific groups for mums like ‘MOM’ (Mothers of Milan) or ‘English-Speaking Moms/Mamas in Italy’ where you can find all mum-related info. Or, the one about bilingualism/ multilingualism to preserve your children’s native languages - just search for ‘bilingual/monolingual families’, ‘bilingual/multilingual kids & families’ or ‘parents of bilingual children’.
As you know, Italy is not the same all over the peninsula (or ‘The Boot’, as Italians love to call it) there is a big difference between the big cities and the small towns in the south. But the aim of these tips is to be useful all over Italy.
If you have extra tips to be added, don’t hesitate to comment below. I'd be happy to read and reply to you.To know more, check out my links below - through my family consulting practice with social impact, I offer 1-to-1 consultations to deal with the most common parental issues, with a special focus on:
bilingualism, sleep training and multicultural families. I also organize children's activities in English to connect with locals, and host family events all over Milan and online. See you there!
Sara RighettiÂ
Of Simply Our Child
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